I don’t read the Guardian much but the last time I did, which was never, it was going on about the big ice cube in Greenland melting away and that we’re all going to be drowned.

And now that I’ve went and stupidly moved about 50 yards from the sea, I could be already dead according to the Guardian, time do to something about it. 

Anyone that knows me knows that I don’t believe these global warming government scare tactics and there just a way to raise taxes, look at the airline industry fro example.

The government for example have us all believing that there’s no cod left in the sea, the chip shops of Largs have used up all the worlds supply of cod. But if you listen closely you’ll realize that there talking only about the North Sea and by contrast the war mongers over the pond are using cod as bait to catch bigger fish.

Why! Because all they eat are super sized McDonald’s burgers and for some reason us Brits are the only people that eat the damn cod. 

Now, back to global warming. 

My old, not too tuned Vauxhall 2.4 diesel engine that powers my Vauxhall Frontera 4×4 hippy hunter puts out about as much carbon dioxide as an field of Argentinean beef stock.

So with this in mind and the New Year and all that I’ve decided to try public transport to see if it’s cheaper, convenient, relaxing, and makes me feel better for saving Greenland.

The journey at times from Ayr to Glasgow up the M77 can get you a tad frustrated and with my new experiment I’ll be leaving the driving up to the jolly old bus driver. 

It’s now Friday and I’ve been at this public transport thing a week and I have to say I’m still unsure it’s the best way to go, sure I’ve read half a book, slept a little bit and beaten my best score on Pro Evo football on the PSP and written this blog post but I’ll give you a little insight to the happenings this week. 

Monday, Dear God, I’ll walking back for the car.

The bus I’ll be using is the X77 and according to the timetables goes past Racecourse in Ayr, this is great I live right next to Racecourse road.

Now on Sunday I did a bit of forward planning, I walked to the bus stops to see which ones the X77 stops at, ok got that, the side of the road close to the beach has “X77 departs here” signs, fantastic. So I get up early and head off to the bus stop proud knowing that I’m helping to save the world. 5 minutes later I see the X77, but in the other side of the road, this is strange I think because only the previous day I checked the bus stops on that side of the road and there was no “X77 departs here” sign. So I think to myself, maybe the bus goes to the other end of the road and turns road, it’s a long road so I wait 20 minutes, no bus. Now I live in Ayr, which is also where the rain lives. So I’m getting wet fast. Only one thing for it, march to the bus station and get the next one from there, which for me meant that I was now an hour behind my schedule.

Result! wet, late in the office and not a happy camper.

Upside, a weekly ticket cost £30.80, first question I asked myself, what’s the 80p for? But a good price, about half of what I spend on Diesel in a week. The planets feeling good.

Tuesday, Hedge your bets.

I walked it to the bus station after the previous days curfuffel, pretty eventless day, again I got wet.

The rest of the week, went by without a hitch, I walked to the bus station and got soaked but I can live with this, after all I’m saving the planet.

Bang, Splash, Stop!

Thursday night, I need to work late on a project and won’t be getting the bus I normally try to catch, this is when I realize very quickly that the X77 bus only runs every hour after 7pm, and stops at every farm house and hamlet on the way down. (Who the hell lives in Fenwick?)

So I’ve missing the bus at 7:42pm, why, I don’t know, my watch and the clock on my phone tells me that I was at the bus stop at 7:40pm, again I leave it 10 minutes in case It’s running late, nop no bus, I head off along Waterloo St to go and get the train home, a whole week before I’m going to be getting the train in my experiment. 

Friday, please shoot me.

Ok, I didn’t get home until about 10pm last night so I’m abit tired today but with faith and trust back in the timetable route guide thing that I have in my bag and I cross the road and wait for the bus, I know it goes past here, I’ve seen it.

So as the bus hurtles towards me and the bus stop I edge out the side of the footpath, outstretch my arm but not in a German Sieg Hail sort of way expecting to see the indicator on the bus start to twinkle like a Christmas light, but no, the drive looks at me and drives straight on, It must be my mistake, maybe I’m standing at a bus stop that buses don’tt stop at, maybe they should change the name of these types of stops, they are very confusing, maybe they should rename then to “Sometimes bus stop, Sometime bus don’t

stop. So off I march to the bus station reminding myself not to believe any printed material like timetables and route guides that Stagecoach waste all there money on only for the Ork like bus drivers to ignore, maybe they can’t read, maybe that’s what the government is doing with the illegal immigrants that are they can’t find, maybe there disguising themselves as bus drivers, the Government would never think of looking there. On top of that they never turn up when there supposed to. 

Later on today I’ll be getting the bus home, I think I’ll go back to killing the planet next week it was much easier that way.